frustrating.

october 26th

life is so confusing sometimes. i don't know about this and that, what's the best for me because the future's so unknown. but with God i know all things are possible and i shouldn't be worried for the future because i know i have Him by my side, always.

Lord help give me the right direction and way for choosing my english course.. it's really frustrating me and i don't know what to do. i only have one chance to make the right choice and that's it. i know you ALWAYS make things turn out right for me and give me the best - so help me choose the right way.

ps happy birthday to sarah :)

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october 27th
last night - i asked you to show me the right way. you truly truly truly truly answer my prayers, through warren you gave me the words of wisdom to stay in advanced english..
isn't it amazing that you through family & friends show me the way? pave the path for me? lay the road ahead of me!?
i shouldn't be scared, because this life journey is you & me every single moment of every day! amazing :DD
though i suppose it's a natural feeling that i'm scared and worried and frustrated and happy all at the same time .. (not so much happy though thats just a general feeling i normally have, well its more of a occasional feeling that bounces back to me during random periods of time) that's a normal human feeling.. but with you i know it's ALWAYS going to be alright! thank you so much .. its true - I REALLY CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!!! :)


i can't believe i lasted after only an hr of saturday night, sunday, monday, tuesday (today) until 3pm to have properly talked to you!!! i missed you soooooooooo much during that time. hey, if you're reading this - AWESOME , if not ...you're still awesome to me ;
you survived ! i gotta go smh.com your story yeh? if it's still on there ? better yet scan your newspaper article for me! truly a 'duke of ed' experience for you. rain's considered mesely to you now isn't it? i still consider it to be a disastrous occurance that disrupts my days haha.
more of a reason why i shouldn't live in england.
these few days have been a bit tough for me .. more of a reason i missed you so much. i wasn't used to the routine of not being able to communicate with you.

though i thank God for guiding me through the last few days...more like the last few weeks. He knows everything and anything i could possibly want or worry over.. how glorious and perfect are you ! especially during times of my weakness.


random snippet - think im going to have "Gods Grace" on my yr 12 jersey. double meaning! = awesomeness.
yr 12 .. hmm , what a scary thought. it's already tough, i better keep up with the work..speaking of which i better go zoom off and do something productive. (currently i am slightly ruining my future as i type this post haha)
oh and btw .. CAMP NEXT MONDAY-WEDNESDAY! I GOT BOARD SHORTS LAST SATURDAY. TOTALLY PUMPEDDDDDDDDDD :D

ps i didn't know you guys read my blog. lol lol :) hi elaine ;D
pps side note - HUMPTY DUMPTY WAS NOT DEPRESSED PANSY! I STAND BY MY POINT EVEN THOUGH I THINK IT'S SAFE TO SAY YOU WON THE DEBATE.....HAHA.

I LOVE YOU LORD

CHURCH B/S ! :]
Hope you're all doing well!

I'm so so so thankful for the Lord's love. His love for me never ceases to amaze me - especially His love towards the non-believers/new friends. Organising car transportation is hard and requires a lot of effort and I'm so so so thankful for Erin's, Sarah's and Samuel's mum today for their help with driving Erin's other car, because without them, Pris, Matt and Ronald would have a lot of difficulty getting to church today (as well as last week which is thanks to Mel's parents).

Today, Pansy & me watched the DVD about Nick Vujicic with the invited friends today..and I have to say, WOW! HIS INSPIRATION AND DETERMINATION IS SO INSPIRING. TRULY THE LORD HAS WORKED SUCH WONDERS AND GAVE HIM SO MUCH GLORY TO SPREAD THE PURPOSE OF LIFE AND HELP ADOLESCENTS SEE THE POSITIVE ASPECT OF LIFE! IT WAS SO GOOD TO WATCH IT JUST A DAY BEFORE YEAR 12 OFFICIALLY BEGINS FOR ME! I know Lord wanted me to watch it , to reassure me that i'm going to be okay through yr 12.. particularly with His help, guidance and love
With the message of lifting up someone else instead of bringing them down (even though I don't do that .. lol) is something high schools really need because there's probably a lot of that in high schools!
Actually from watching that DVD, which made me cry coz he touched me so much, helped Pansy & me to have some sharings with each other about our family life and such and I really thank God that He gave us this opportunity because I think if i hadn't watched that DVD, I wouldn't have done so and then Pansy wouldn't have either. PRAISE THE LORD

Also, i'm so grateful that Matt, Pris and Ronald were able to come again today..
Pris is more reassured and has a lot of her questions answered.. she's still quite interested in reading the bible and finding out more as well as reading a book she borrowed from Ben
Ronald has had more of his questions answered and he's more reassured too.. which is a good thing!
and Matt -
matty, *4,862.50* says:
"ok today i had a really great time today, i enjoyed every moment of today and it's all thanks to you really, but today i learnt so much more about jesus christ and all the references made and hearing chris's story (yeh i remembered a lot of people's names now) really is something special, today somehow made me more and more content to follow religion, since there's no harm to anyway, the highlights of these holidays i reckon would be actually the sunday's i got to spend with you and meeting all the other people, im so thankful that everyone makes me feel very welcomed and i fit in pretty well i must say, point is, today i actually agree with so many things the testimony guy said about jesus christ, and now i feel more content to follow it and learn more about it ;D"

IM SO HAPPY FOR ALL 3 OF MY FRIENDS TRULY THEY'RE BEGINNING TO BE TOUCHED BY THE LORD'S LOVE FOR THEM!!! YES :]
PLEASE PRAY FOR THEM THAT THEY WILL CONTINUE TO WANT TO KNOW MORE AND BE INTERESTED AND THAT THEY MAY COME BACK TO THE LORD AND ACCEPT HIM AS THEIR SAVIOUR! THANK YOU :]

TO ALL B/S: GOOD LUCK WITH SCHOOL! ESPECIALLY JANE!!! :] PURSUE THIS LAST TERM WITH THE LORD AND NOT BY YOURSELF!!! :]

Keeping you all in my prayers xxx

Waiting for regret to happen has never been so exciting.

"Trouble is only a challenge to spur you on to achieve the best that GOD can offer if you have the faith to believe. Forgive the many errors that i made yesterday and let me try again to walk closer to thy way. We all have cares and problems we cannot... solve alone but if we go to him in prayer we are never on our own =)"

- Jess's words.

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

Believe you can.. and you're halfway there!

I do it beause I can I can because I want to I want to because you said I couldn't.

Knowledge is wealth that nobody can take away from you..

Never tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

In the end.. what we regret most are the chances we never took.

Don't compare yourselves to others. You have no idea what their journey is about...

When you feel like giving up..remember why you held on for so long.

When you were born, you were crying & everyone else around you were smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you will be smiling and everyone around will be crying.

Whatever the difference between brillant and average brains, we all are creative...and through practice and study we can enhance our skills and talents.

Don't ask God to make your life easier..ask him to make you stronger!!
God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do...
Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to.
What you are is God's gift to you, what you make of yourself is your gift to God.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life seem bigger.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

Credit to Pansy.

DISCIPLESHIP CAMP :D

okay so basically our camp was based on 'discipleship' which is about living your life, and it's not just based on training, but an actual relationship with the Lord Himself! also learnt to abide in Him, and that to put Him as first priority in life because no matter where you go no matter how you are or what you do, God's the only one that's always going to be there for you . like your friends and family and school mates or whoever, they're never always going to be there for you, you may feel completely alone in this world even when surrounded by many friends and only God is the one taking you through life.

you're going to face like many challenges in life , whether through school work or friends or family or balancing your life out or whatever, and the challenge is prioritising your life .. would you help your friend 1st (as in 1st priority) or would you place Jesus 1st and have Him help you help your friend together ? its things like that

we had quite a few meetings during the period of camp, and i had a lot of expectations from this camp , like reading the bible more and understanding it better, talking to God more and not just through prayers, pursuing for Him more and having SDL everyday (SDL = sweet daily living, process of sections during the day where you worship and have communication with the Lord and Abba and Holy Spirit ..mainly during the morning to ask them help you rejoice in the day with them together)

hmm okay one of the things when we got to friend's house was me doing a sharing. the night before - remember how i stayed up really late ? didnt sleep til 4:30 n that was the night before camp .. erin couldnt get the hymn booklet printed the way that she wanted, and was having great difficulty so i offered to help but it is SOOOO HARD TO MAKE A BOOKLET - LIKE YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE PAGE DIVIDED INTO 2 SECTIONS AND IT HAS TO BE THE 1ST PAGE AND LAST PAGE AND THEN COZ ITS BACK TO BACK ITS EVEN HARDER TO FIGURE OUT THE PAGES YOU NEED so it took me soooooooo long and i had to re-arrange and arrange it again and stuff and then my bro had to help me do the settings on the printer so it would print back to back and what not and the next morning at like 8 something in the morning i woke up to fix it all up and print it out but i didnt have enough copies we were already goign to be extremely late

and during that time i felt really blessed to know that God was with me during those times when i was about to give up on making the booklet coz it was soo frustrating. but through his love into my brother - as my bro helped re-organise the whole booklet and through the love of my parents who offered to print out an extra 20 copies and deliberately drive over to friend's house to drop off the booklets just for us .. and we used up so much ink and paper .. so yeh i really felt God's love that time and thats why my msn was on during sunday ;] i didnt sign out coz i was talking to erin and i forgot to sign out so yeh

and then it was really fun after the meetings that day we were playing 'i spy' while waiting for dinner and it was so funny coz some people picked the most random things ever... lol and it actually was inside the room lmfao and there were 15 pizzas for dinner so you could eat as many as you wanted to and different flavours which i thought was coool i dont remember which ones i ate though .. oh wells :D

after dinner was hymn sharing and 'sharing' .. basically thats just sharing with what touched you or how you're feeling with your relationship with God or expectations you had for that camp, and hymn sharing is sharing songs so yeh :D we sung self-composed songs by church b/s which was realllly fun to sing and had really good lyrics. shame i dont have recordings of them lol ><>

sleepover was fun .. sleeping in the living room all lined up together we were singing songs and chatting and whatnot, and we had a 'happy hour' basically just time where everybody says something really happy that happened during that day that they really enjoyed :D which was good

next day we were sort into groups to do SDL and PP (precious prayers- basically prayers to Lord, Abba n Spirit to help you throughout that day) and i really felt the love among brothers & sisters and we were all so happy and joyous and on such a spiritual high. we even saw heart shaped clouds in the sky - like you can see all around you the love from God which is truly amazing because God truly is LOVE :D

we were taking heaps of photos and singing and what not :] another verse i found in the bible which was really touching was 'jesus christ is the same yesterday, today and forever' which was really touching because it shows that His love for us is always going ot be so abundant so beautiful so great and so treasured ! and another one 'my grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness' so thats basically just saying how when we're in weakness, His strength is perfect for ours and His grace towards us is sufficient for us which is a truly great thing

lunch we had lasagna and banana cake which was heaps yummmmmmm. and another meeting was about having quality and close time with God :D and to 'love one another as i have loved you' so yeh and we really felt that we can rely on b/s to give us support so they are different to normal (school) friends and yeh...played some games too .. doing scissors paper rock and stuff to do hand stacking and whoever won got to slap their hand on top of the pile, and we were playing the slapping game "ABCD" and singing hymsn together. oooh and later on we were playing charades of bible characters tv shows and movies and i think my group may have won or tied haha soo much fun

dinner was hotpot and that was heaps nice too :D:D so fresh and yummy . and last of all we had sharings by every brother and sisters - happy and/or sad, and it was so like "WOW" to hear so many different stories and how everybody felt encouraged or inspired by each other to desire for the Lord more and more everyday, and at the end we all gathered together in a circle holding /linking hands/arms and singing a song ( forgot what lol ) and yeh it was sooo much fun that camp i'll never ever forget it . im so grateful my parents let me go to it :D